I hurry up to switch on my phone and text my mother a short message “I am ok” , as every time after a flight. Her heart is back in place now. She will answer in the next second “ok mami” and she will let me sleep without any other question. Then she will call my father and let him know that I reached my destination safe. They were both worried, praying for me the whole time, while I was flying.
I am trying to joke with them before going to work, saying “don’t worry about the time I reach, if something bad happen you will know from TV”. And this is actually the ugly truth.
I open my facebook page and I face the nightmare of every crew…another crash had happen and this time the disaster hit an airline so close to us…flyDubai.
I have more messages than normally from my friends, asking if I am ok. I guess I am not but I am trying to not think too much. Air accidents bring lot of sadness in everyone soul and indescribable pain for families who have lost their loved ones in such a cruel way.
As teenager I was always scared of flying, preferring to take the bus instead of the plane whenever I was traveling outside of the country. My fear was amplified by the nightmares which involve me in a terrifying plane crash. I used to wake up right after the “impact”, scared and sometimes crying. I was following with interest every episode of “Crash investigation” on TV and I knew by heart all the components of an aircraft and the possible causes which can lead to an accident.
I never imagine myself working as a cabin crew even though I was envying the stewardesses for their beauty but most of all for their strength. I loved to travel and I was dreaming to see the whole world but with my phobia for flying it was impossible.
Then, one day, I decided to defeat my fear and apply for a cabin crew job. I traveled to my neighbor country, Bulgaria (by bus obviously) and I joined an airline assessment without having high expectation. Surprisingly I passed every challenge with success and I returned home with a new contract, shocking everyone with the choice that I have made.
My parents were glad to see my excitement but they were worried in the same time. Being their only child they were always overprotective and now the thought that I will leave my home for a job in the Middle East frightened them. It was the first time when they had to admit that I am not a child anymore, that I grown up and I can decide for myself without them looking after me.
As I start studying different types of aircrafts, my fear decreased steadily, finding out that every plane has at least one back up plan in case of any technical failure.
Once I start flying I felt in love with my worst fear and the plane became my second home, the place where I spend most of the time. I cant say that my fear disappear suddenly but if something bad happens I know that it was written in my destiny and I have no power to change that. In fact flying remains the safest way of traveling and much more people are losing their lifes every day in silly ways other than plane crashes.
Working in this magical tube made me become not only a flight attendant but also an experienced “fire fighter”, “cop”, “doctor”, “psychologist”, “chef” and gave me the confidence to deal with any unexpected situation up in the air but also in my personal life.
So far I traveled more than 22% of the world, I reached placed that I didnt even have the courage to dream about, I met people of every race and different level of education and I learned a lesson from every experience.
I was happy, sad, lonely, tired, disappointed, I had periods when I wanted to leave everything behind and go back home to feel loved and protected in my family arms but in fact I never gave up. I stand up stronger, stretching my wings and flying higher than before. I was ready to prove that I am not my parents spoiled baby anymore, that I am strong enough to fight with the obstacles of the life and win every time.
I still have a deep fear in my heart and I am praying to God everytime before a flight to bring me home safe. Then I am texting my mother telling her “I love you”. Regardless of how bad, busy or tired I was in the past few days I want her to know how much she means for me, just in case…I dont come back.
Two years of flying passed with the speed of a Boeing and I am so greatfull that I didnt encounter any bad experience in all this time.
Instead I am rewarded with genuine smiles every day, from old/young, black/white, poor/rich, healthy/sick people who appreciate me and the commitment that I have for my job.